What if lack of willpower is not a character flaw but a system failure?

System failure

This is a excerpt from a new program I will be offering called, Building incredible willpower: How to exercise self-control when it matters most so you can lose weight, be happy and truly love how you look.

I remember the first time this concept actually clawed its way into my grey matter.

It was March of 2010 and I had just returned home from a 40th birthday party (not mine) where I was surrounded by cakes, and treats and an assortment of other goodies that were on my “do not devour like a hungry dog” list.

As I thought back to the night that was, I suddenly heard myself say, “What the in the name of Joan Rivers happened tonight!”

This had been a monumental night for me.  It was the first time in my life that I was actually able to avoid EVERYTHING I had hoped I would avoid.

There were all kinds of tasty grain based treats that I repeatedly said, “No thank you” to.

There were these tasty little cupcakes that I came face to face with on numerous occasions that I was able to shun as well.

In fact, the whole night went exactly as I had planned.

But the weird thing is that had never EVER happened before. You see I have always been someone who can eat well when I control the environment (my home), but can suddenly turn into my brother’s dog (he has a Beagle) and eat everything I see once I leave it. Literally that dog will eat anything from Cigarette butts to anything that grows on a vine. (I should clarify however that I no longer eat cigarette butts.)

So this was complete foreign territory to me.

As I sat on my couch that night reflecting on what was, I found myself oscillating between two different states of mind.

On the one hand, I was thrilled with myself for having had the willpower to resist those things I knew I was not supposed to have.

But there was another part of me that wanted to know the secret as to why that was. I did NOT want this to be a one-shot deal where I just got “lucky.”

As I reflected more deeply on the outcome, it dawned on me that there were a series of things I had done long before I had ever arrived at that party, that contributed to my success.

For starters, I had thought long and hard about whether I should go or not.  Avoidance had long been my most primitive weapon of choice against impulse eating.

But I also realized that avoidance was not a sustainable strategy long-term.  It makes you live in fear that when temptation does rear its tasty scrumptious little self, you are going to fall apart quicker than a hard taco shell after the first bite.

So not going was not an option.

Instead, I actually started preparing in advance.

For starters, the party didn’t start until 8pm.  One of the mistakes I had always made in the past was showing up at events hungry and unprepared.

BIG MISTAKE! So I remedied that by eating dinner shortly before I left.

I also realized that there would be temptations galore that I would be drooling over, so I brought two servings of almonds with me to counteract the temptation to stray should they arise.

And here was the most significant thing I did.

I actually decided in advance how I would say, “NO thank you.” And then I rehearsed mentally what that would look and sound like.

Imaginary waiter: “Excuse me fine sir, could I interest you in some piglets in a blanket?”

Pretend Ninja Dean: “Back that sh*t up waiter boy or I will go all Jackie Chan and drop kick that tray half-way across the room.”

Now it is possible that I am embellishing my story for dramatic purposes. GASP!

My point is to simply emphasize that I spent time before I left imagining myself saying, “No thank you” and making every effort to make it as realistic as possible.

As a result, the night ended up going exactly as I had planned.  I ate nothing I was not supposed to and I never had to dip into my almond reserve either. SWEET!

Over the next few weeks I found myself reflecting on the outcome of that night more frequently.

And then I had my EUREKA moment (no nudity involved in that moment fortunately.)

Like most people, whenever I didn’t exercise the self-control I thought I should, I chalked it up to a character flaw and as such, I would promise myself that I would try harder next time to be more disciplined.

But the night of the birthday party made me realize something SIGNIFICANT.  What I had often thought was a character flaw, was in fact a system failure.

I did not succeed the night of the birthday party because I suddenly had more willpower.

I succeeded because I had begun to unlock the secret components of willpower.

It is not a magical trait that some have and most don’t.  It acts very much as a muscle. In fact, there is significant scientific evidence to back up this point.

And like any muscle, with the proper training, it can be strengthened if you train it properly and it can be exhausted if the training is inadequate or non-existent.

So I got to work to build a system that would unlock the secrets to this elusive thing we call willpower.

And what I discovered is that it is comprised of 5 parts.  Consider it a formula or blueprint if you will.

If you know the steps, and the steps within the steps, then you have the ability to not only enhance your willpower, but you have the ability to start BUILDING INCREDIBLE WILLPOWER.

And the great thing about blueprint is that you it is not relegated to eating choices. You can replicate in aspects of your life whether your desire is to become an early riser, to be a more loving spouse or parent, to have more patience, to be more positive, or to build any other new habit you desire.

It’s that powerful.

In fact, I am now applying the formula to my business to help me make more money. Cha ching!

So I have a question for you.

How might your life change if you could take my blueprint and apply it to the most pressing aspects of your life that you are desperate to change?

What if I could take the magic out of this idea of willpower and turn it into a five-step formula that you could practice and repeat in any situation and begin consistently getting the results you want?

  • Perhaps it’s finally losing that weight you have so desperately tried to lose these past few years.
  • Perhaps it’s getting up an hour earlier everyday so you can finally launch that writing career you have longed to start.
  • Or perhaps it’s adopting new habits that invigorate your love life.

The framework has no boundaries. It can literally be applied to any area of your life.

If this is something that you would love to add to your arsenal so that you can ROCK YOUR LIFE, then add your name and email below so you can be on my list for a FREE webinar I’m putting on where I will give away a some of my MOST POWERFUL strategies on how to build incredible willpower.

It will literally change your life.

Spaces will be limited for the LIVE event so be sure to confirm your email address IMMEDIATELY upon signing up so you can get all the updates on the upcoming training.

OK, so what is your takeaway from today’s post?

There are two my little pretty (sorry I’m channeling an Oz character it seems.)

First, drill this into your grey matter.  Heck write it down and refer to this daily.

What you think is a character flaw is often a system failure.

And second, be sure to sign up below to be part of my live webinar where I reveal my best strategies for BUILDING INCREDIBLE WILLPOWER.

That’s it!

To making shift happen my friend,

Deano