I have been thinking about this question for some time now. Why are some people thriving with the Paleo diet and experiencing all the wonderful effects like...
- fat loss
- improved health
- clearer thinking
- sounder sleep
- enhanced fitness
and others are struggling to attain any noticeable results in any of the areas above.
There are lots of reasons why this is, but none that can be easily explained as I eluded to in last week's post, Making Paleo Work: A more complete model for fat loss and body transformation.
If you haven't read that one yet I encourage you to give it a read. Click the link above to check it out. It has over 1100+ Facebook shares to lend a little credibility to it's popularity.
But that said, my own personal research (self-experiments, interviews, and the articles and studies I have read) has helped me uncover distinct behaviors that separate those who thrive with Paleo from those who struggle.
From fat to fit...
That tagline is how I would classify my own success story. I didn't adopt Paleo because I had health issues, I adopted it because I had fat issues that I knew one day would turn into health issues.
And I also realized early on this time around, that diet and exercise alone WOULD NOT solve my problem for the simple fact that if it was as simple as that, I would have solved it every other time I attempted to diet and exercise my way out of my body fat dilemna. I think deep down there is a part of you that knows that as well.
Don't get me wrong, both diet and exercise are part of the solution, but there are so many other behaviors that play an integral part in this ecosystem of transformation we seek to create for ourselves.
As such, I have been quietly compiling a list of behaviors for a course I have created called...
FAT to FIT: Successful habits of the Paleo elite
It's a breakdown of behaviors that the PALEO ELITE use to radically transform how they look and SUSTAIN lT long term. They are behaviors that few people are taking about (mostly because I believe many don't understand their own success), but ones that are VITAL to your success.
Lets explore one...
Exercising radical restraint...
I made the following statement on my Facebook Fan Page earlier this week (BTW if you are not a fan you might want to join what is nearly 2000 fellow AWESOME SHIFT DISTURBERS. Click --> HERE.)
One of the first MAJOR SHIFTS I made was the one above. It has nothing to do with Paleo per say, but it is DAMN important if we are going to have any success with the diet/lifestyle.
Without it we are doomed.
Time for a SWITCH...
Ironically, I did not get that idea for radical restraint from a Paleo book or some exercise guru for that matter. I got it while reading, Switch: How to Change Things When Change Is Hard
One study they referred to was based on how different people reacted when sitting in a room by themselves with a plate of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. There sole task was NOT to eat the cookies. The study organizers simply observed what the participants did.
What they discovered was that those who were able to resist had a wide range of strategies to draw from. Those who couldn't resist, possessed fewer strategies to do so.
What I found more intriguing was that they ran the experiment again with those who were unable to resist, but only after showing them some of the skills their successful counterparts had used.
The success rates the second time around skyrocketed.
That was one of many light bulb moments for me. It was the first time I realized I simply lacked the skills needed to TEACH MYSELF how to BULLETPROOF my WILLPOWER.
I can't tell you how liberating that discovery was.
You are not the problem...
Discipline is NOT a genetic trait! We err in this area when we say, I AM DISCIPLINED or worse, I AM NOT DISCIPLINED.
I would argue that the correct verb we SHOULD BE using is HAVE, as in, I HAVE TREMENDOUS DISCIPLINE, or, I HAVE NOT LEARNED THE SKILLS OF DISCIPLINE.
There is a big difference between those two distinctions. One intrinsically reinforces that discipline is an innate trait that can't be changed, much like height, the other suggests (correctly) that it can be learned and mastered.
Once you make this distinction, then you begin to understand that discipline is no different than learning how to ski or learning how to draw (yes you can learn how to draw). You simply need to learn the skills involved so you can work towards mastery.
Why the elite are different...
Do you know separates the elite from those who struggle.
The quality of the feedback they give themselves.
Case Study: Average Basketball Players vs Elite Basketball Players
A study was conducted with two groups of basketball players. Those who were considered to be average players and those considered to be elite. They were asked to shoot foul shots and when they missed they were asked to provide feedback as to what they thought they did wrong.
The average Joe's, were average for a reason. When they missed they provided really vague unactionable feedback like...
- I lost my concentration
- I need to try harder
- I need to focus more
The elite on the other hand could provide specific feedback like...
- I didn't follow-thru with my shooting hand
- I didn't keep my elbow pointed towards the basket
- I didn't bend my knees
The feedback from the average Joe's was too vague to act on and measure. How would you know you concentrated more the next time around.
The elite feedback was something that was both specific and immediately measurable.
Those who struggle or get mediocre results with Paleo are a lot like the average basketball players. They provide very vague feedback in response to failures in the willpower department.
In fact their answers are NOT much different than the average basketball Joe's. You will hear things like....
- I need to be more disciplined
- I need to work harder
- I just need to resist when I am in those situations
Sadly, all of that feedback is completely useless. There is nothing specific in those statements that can be acted upon.
Those who exercise radical restraint on the other hand provide very specific feedback as to why they were unsuccessful. Lets look at some of those strategies below.
Strategies to bulletproof your willpower...
So just to be clear here, your takeaway from all this is: WILLPOWER IS A LEARNABLE SKILL.
So lets talk about some specific strategies you could apply to situations where you might find your willpower tested.
I polled my peeps on the BEING PRIMAL fanpage using the following question.
As you can see, the response was amazing. I will share some of the more brilliant strategies. BUT keep in mind that the strategies themselves can be applied to ANY SITUATION where willpower is required.
These are in no particular order of importance.
Strategy #1-Connect the friggin' dots
Stacey really states this brilliantly. It's about TRULY connecting to and understanding the consequences of our actions. Don't kid yourself, this requires you to make some really TOUGH decisions, but as you begin to understand the consequences, you begin to make the shift to embracing health and vibrancy over the quick fixes that provide long term pain and anguish.
Jay captures the dot connecting eloquently.
Strategy #2-Focus your attention elsewhere
I remember the first time I read about this idea. I read it years ago in fact in Dale Carnegie's, "How to start living and stop worrying." One of the guys Carnegie featured talked about the struggle of losing his 5-year old son.
For months this poor guy was crushed and literally going through the motions. But he awoke one day and realized that he couldn't go on as he was because he had another son to take care of.
He knew he had to get out of his own head. So he went around the house and made a list of everything that needed to be repaired. His list was 137 items long. And he threw himself into those repairs. In essence, repairing his house helped him repair his spirit that had been crushed by the death of his son.
Sorry that is a bit dramatic, but I have never forgotten that story and Licia's comment reminded me of the brilliance of what I call MINDFUL DISTRACTION. It's very powerful!
And the sheer genius of Licia's comment: Do something that DEMAND'S YOUR FULL ATTENTION!
There are many ways to do this. Look how Ami does it.
Strategy #3-Focus on your results
When I interviewed my pal Sarah Fragoso from Everyday Paleo, she talked about this exact strategy that Patrick refers to. You have to be in tune with your body and be acutely aware of what changes are happening, even if they are small. I call it, SEARCHING FOR EVIDENCE.
The reason is exactly as Patrick states so eloquently. There is a direct correlation to the positive changes we make with our body and our ability to resist.
And what you discover over time is that inner heckler in your head goes from a loud scream to a slight whisper.
Rhonda utilizes this strategy as well by focusing on the pounds lost.
Strategy #4-Tell the truth
People seem to struggle with this one. But a great strategy is to simply do what Cherish does and tell it like it is. My line: No thanks. That makes me fat!
Strategy #5-Keep that tummy full
This strategy that Cindi uses is one I use often. Back when I first started Paleo and had virtually no faith that I would make the right decisions when the chips were down, I would always eat before I went somewhere if I had any doubt that things might go awry. It's amazing how great our willpower is on a full stomach as opposed to an empty one. It's one of the most powerful strategies you can utilize.
Strategy #6-Avoid eye contact
This strategy is so simple and yet it is HUGE! Put yourself in a position where you can't see the temptation that exists. You have two options here.
- you either move the offending treats out of your sight
There are lots of studies that show even putting non-see-through covers on desirable items helps with willpower.
- if you can't remove the treat, then remove yourself. I thought Christine captured this in a delightful way.
Strategy #7-Plan ahead
Sue gets it! There is a DIRECT CORRELATION between the quality of your planning and your willpower. TEACH YOURSELF TO PLAN BETTER and then OBSESS OVER IT! You will be amazed what you can resist when you are armed and dangerous.
Check out what Dawn has going on in her office. Almost makes me want to break in and steal me some of those snacks. 
Strategy #8-Practice
NO ONE thinks we have to practice these skills. But it is just like the foul shooting example above. You don't INSTANTLY become a great foul shooter just because you decide to shoot foul shots. You PRACTICE and you practice A LOT. It's no different with this.
I remember reading something by a personal development dude names Steve Pavlina. He would practice getting up early. So say he wanted to start getting up at 5am. He would lie in bed and set the alarm and when it went off he would go through the exact motions of what he would do if it was actually 5am.
He would run through it 5 or 10 times to practice the very skill he was looking at developing. BRILLIANT and so too is Tammy's insight.
Strategy #9-Understand the cause
It's surprising how few people really know what caused their problem to begin with. Tough to make progress if we don't sit down and figure out what the hell got you into this mess to begin with. Andrew's got it figured out and he even has this alliteration thing (well not really) going on as well with hospitality.
Strategy #10-Know thyself
Sorry that sounds biblical, but Amanda brings up an amazing point. We have to know where our holes lie and be sure we don't fall into them. I am just like Amanda. Actually I'm more like a dog really. I can't have just one (at least I have not taught myself how to have one yet). I have to have them ALL.
So for the time being, I look for ways to avoid those situations. I don't buy in bulk. I try to put things into containers immediately as opposed to eating out of bags and pots. And I buy smaller containers of trigger foods like almond butter so that I minimize the damage with something I know I can live with.
Becoming one of the Paleo elite...
There is nothing magical about this whole process. It's simply a matter of adopting the habits of the Paleo Elite and one is EXERCISING RADICAL RESTRAINT.
Your homework...
OK so one thing people asked for to make the lesson more valuable were tasks you could actually perform. I am providing 3. Feel free to ignore them completely, do them as is or my favorite, steal the ones you like and then come up with our own unique strategies.
- Put the first habit of the Paleo Elite somewhere you will see it often: EXERCISE RADICAL RESTRAINT. It can be in a notebook or journal. You can put it on your screen saver or you can print out your own little banner and post it somewhere you will see it daily. Repeat it often, especially in the midst of situations where you feel you are being tested.
- Identify 3 areas that are killing you in the restraint department. It could be something at work, it might be something at night, or it might be something as simple as watching TV (TV is a huge trigger for people to gorge like pigs). Then go through and pick out some strategies above to try and test the next time you encounter them. Observe the result and keep tweaking until you get the outcome you desire.
- Failure to plan ahead is the biggest killer of willpower. Begin to create strategies that will help you become a better planner. Start with your grocery list. Do you have one? What about a meal plan? Daily. Weekly? Do you make meals in bulk? What about using a crock pot? Failure to plan as they say is planning to fail. Obsess on becoming a better planner.
Alright kids, now go, MAKE SHIFT HAPPEN.
DD
ps...Feel free to chime in below!
Awesome post, thanks for the tips!! I have become so use to saying no to things that don’t fit in with my lifestlye, that it is simply the first word that pops out of my mouth when offered. I don’t even have to think about it any more. I am totally like you, cannot stop at one lolly (candy) or chocolate…have to have the whole bag. So not having one is my best strategy.
I don’t have much wiggle room with stuff like chocolate either. So I’m either all in or all out. Like who NO THANK YOU is pretty dang powerful Brooke.
Hi Dean man!! Long time no see you. Great post, BTW. Well, I kind of slipped off the paleo/primal wagon for 3 months (No -Dec) and am paying the price right now. Not with any weight gain but the joint pains and aches that plagued me for nearly 15 years before I cleaned up my act by going paleo and now primal. So have just gone back to paleo/primal big time and my excruciating pain is the BEST strategy to resist the amount of junk food that floods the office day in day out: I know what it will lead to and only a fool would want to live in constant discomfort as I used to. So folks, just tune in to your body and let nature follow its course.
I am sure you have done this already Olivia but if you haven’t, deconstruct what caused you to abandon something you knew was working…we do funny things sometimes for reasons we don’t even realize (at least me anyhow). When we begin to uncover those reasons we reduce the likelihood that it will reoccur. And great to have you back gurl!!
Got my months mixed up. I slipped off the paleo/primal wagon from Oct – Dec. That’s what eating junk does to you too: it clouds your mind and your typing (lol)!!
really enjoyed the post, I am only starting out on this paleo way of life, I have about 56 pounds (25.4kg) to lose….I really enyoy your advice and the the other readers comments.
I must admit that the real value from most of this is what the others here can teach us from their own experience…that goes a long way to helping others!! Thanks for taking the time to comment Hazel.
New to Paleo…I NEEDED TO HEAR THIS!!. I am so struggling with this right now. I have made so many changes but am still struggling with eating (no, not eating..shoving crap into my piehole to relieve stress) in the work place. I am making shift happen by exchanging what I snack on..right now I am bringing in extra fruit and celery sticks as opposed to cookie/chippy/snackie shit, but I find my self constantly looking for cookie! WHY? I am working on becoming conscious on how I feel when looking for said cookie…Love your posts..love your style.
LOL…sorry I quite literally laughed out loud at “shoving crap into my piehole to relieve stress”…and just so you don’t feel all by your lonesome…that’s what most people do, male and female, whether they admit it or not. The urges silence over time…they don’t disappear but as I eluded to in the post they shift from a scream to a whisper that become easy to ignore. Understanding they don’t simply disappear immediately is important Kimberly for the mere fact you can arm yourself to deal with them.
Dean – this is a great list to sum everything. Plan, strategize, be prepared for whatever situation, focus attention elsewhere, and connecting the dots are some that I am trying to utilize.
It takes time and practice Theresa to hone skills that effectively work for us. Sounds like you are on that path as well.
Dean,
You really help so many people with your posts. Count me way at the top of those you have helped. I need to remove myself from the area where the food is stacked at work and get my mind on something else. I know if I make the effort to have a high protein and good fat breakfast I am not hungry and the temptations are not so tempting. Thanks for helping me find my courage. You rock!
Thanks Susan. You can never err when you say I ROCK!! ha ha! I do believe your strategy can be HUGE for many people as well…starting the day off right can really make a difference to the temptations that tend to derail us!! Nice work gurl.
Love the post. Great information but i think there is more to it than just willpower. I do think biochemical individuality plays a huge role in everyones success or failure. I am a huge believer in the paleo/primal eating style. It is the way to go but once you start to stall after having excellent results it may be time to tweak the food a bit (macronutriant ratios) to meet your personal nutritional needs. The book the Perfect Health Diet (well supported book in the paleo community) is a good starting point. It explains a sort of sliding scale for carbs and protein grams.
Hey Amy of course there is more to it than just willpower. Its a combination of many many things…just can’t write about them all in one blog post or it would turn into a book. So I tackle the problems one week at a time gurl
Love it. I read all of your posts and always walk away with stuff to do/use. This post included. I just didn’t want people who do “everything right” and still stall to think there wasn’t anything more they could do. I’m sure you will tackle all of that in the future. Looking forward to it.
I think there is something to the “food reward hypothesis.” I try to tell myself that every time I indulge in a piece of chocolate, for example, I am making that brain reward pathway stronger. Conversely, every time I resist, I am weakening the pathway. It does help me to think that way even if I don’t know whether or not it is scientifically proven! Chocolate is a my weakness. Don’t have any problem resisting grains. LOVE paleo eating, exercise, and lifestyle — will never go back to SAD.
I would totally agree with that logic T.
I really dig your theory here Theresa, regardless of it’s scientific or not.
My house is totally “clean” but I’m hearing the siren song of a bag of Lara Bars I got for an upcoming trip. I KNOW they are healthy, I KNOW they are primal/paleo/whatever, but to me, they are crack. I want and crave them as much as I used to want and crave ice cream. So I think sometimes we need to extend these discussions of willpower and such beyond just the confines of what is “technically approved paleo”, because, really, who hasn’t gone through a whole jar of coconut butter (or almond butter) in a week and then not reached their weight loss goals. 
I’m working hard these days on severing that “I want it so I’ll have it” mindset and trying to move to “I want it but I don’t need it, and it wouldn’t serve me right now.” Because, like a fine glass of Irish whiskey, in my world, there is no such thing as one Lara Bar. 
Thank you Dean for always helping us to think so much. 
Jess, I here ya about over indulging on the good stuff too. I dont crave the SAD stuff much at all and when I do I can control it.
My next hurdle is to curtail the excessive grazing. That big ass jar of raw mixed nuts is my crack now.
Deans startegies will work just as well.
Nother great one, Dean. Made me plan ahead for when we get free fresh baked cookies at work as our treat. I will have a container of my own treats in the freezer labeled, Fran’s – Paleo, gluten free, dairy and grain free snacks. You probably won’t like them. I think that will deter any freezer raiders!
Actually fran I probably would. I love to eat frozen stuff in the freezer…when we were kids my mom would bake cookies for christmas and freeze them to keep us out of them…not me though…wasn’t such a merry christmas when mom discovered like 3 cookies left
Dean,
I can’t remember what bread crumbs led me to you, but I have quickly become a huge fan. Love your message, love your story, love your style. I lost abut 50 pounds six years ago, but still want to improve my body composition. I’ve been screwing around with paleo/primal off and on for a few years now, but have not fully made the commitment. It’s time.
Hey Kim…sadly as a Paleo guy I can not endorse the analogy of bread crumbs…how about following my primal trial of sweet potato fries?
And yes IT’S TIME GURL. Keep us posted on how you are doing.
These are some great strategies! I’ve been doing really well all of January but I’ve got several parties coming up over the next couple of weeks and I don’t trust myself. I will try some of these strategies to get me through it.
I get that carla….had the same feeling when I first started…you know one I didn’t mention was visualization…imagining various scenarios you will need to deal with and how you will deal with them…I used that when I started…really made a difference.
I just wanted to comment again on how effective an hypnosis cd has been for me during this process. I have added my goals in which are to be lean strong and flexible, to choose only healthy nutritious foods that my body loves etc and I have to say that I haven’t had any major struggles so far. Just a tool that may help as it works on your subconscious beliefs that may be at play here eg comfort foods linked to love, sugar equals feeling good etc etc.
That comment made me sleepy…get hypnosis…sleepy?
Is there a particular CD you recommend, Amanda?
I needed this post!! My main issue is failing to plan…eating cafeteria food at a school is simply not acceptable if (wait, not if) as I am making these changes. I LOVE the stocking my office with good snacks and fresh fruit on Monday so that I have stuff throughout the week. I’ll put into action some of the other ones too. Brilliant!!
yeah that is a great tip…actually there were a lot of great tips weren’t there (from my fan page peeps)
Hi Dean. This is a great post. One thing I’d like to throw in there is when you find yourself drawn to foods you know aren’t good for you, and this is happening repeatedly, ask yourself what else is going on in your life. What area of your life isn’t satifying you at this time…do you have relationships that need working on? What about your exercise…do you need to step up your game or maybe back off a little? Your career…is it fulfilling? Are you under a ton of stress? Maybe meditation will help you ease that. The better you know yourself and how you react to life’s stresses, the easier it is to head those ‘naughty cheats’ off at the pass.
That is my big thing when I talk to people Melissa. There are reasons why we do what we do and we have to be prepared to pull back the bark and see what is going on underneath the hood. People would be surprised how much success we could have when we start filling our own holes.
Great post as usual! “Exercise Radical Restraint” is the best advice for me! I have found that if I “cheat” even a little bit it takes me weeks to get back on track. It has come down to simply telling myself it is not worth taking 12 steps back when I have taken so many steps forward. Now, when I feel like “cheating” I remind myself of all of the work I have done, how crappy I feel (physically and mentally) when I cheat and how very hard it is to get back on track when the evilness of sugar and grains is dogging you.
Thanks for putting all of the tips together in one spot! I will definitely be using some of them!
And the great thing for you Julie is understanding you and your limits…too many people try to adopt someone else’s program and it just doesn’t work for them…ie far too many people try to do mark sisson’s 80/20 rule when they don’t have the body type to do 80/20 and should really be 90/10.
Dean, you just keep making one good point after another.
Thanks T…that is the illusion I am desperately trying to keep up
Dean, You seem to come up with relevent and timely posts.
I mentioned in a reply to Jess that my next hurdle is too control my overeating of paleo food as well. I got into the mindset, most likely from misinterpretting Mark Sissons message, that I could eat as much as I want of Paleo food.
Don’t get me wrong I still lost fat and feel a lot better than I ever did. I am ready for the next level.
I want to strive toward the Paleo Elite. Thanks for helping out.
I love this article! I’m currently about 20 days into a Whole30 Challenge and it is my first experience with Paleo. I’ve been very good at practicing radical restraint, but I’m worried about transitioning out of these strict 30 days. These strategies are great and I will definitely be referring back to your site as my journey progresses. I’m blogging about it here: http://www.kaciclairest.com/my-kitchen.html if you’re curious.
Anyway thanks for the advice and for sharing your story and philosophy with the world! I’m going to post this article on the Project Paleo St. Louis Facebook page.
My personal mantra for this new way of eating and living is “Redefine Satisfaction.” And it is working!
Nice site Kaci. It’s in my Primal favorite folder.
Love that mantra, Kaci — I hope you don’t mind if I borrow it! And off topic, I used to live in the STL. –kim