As I reflect on not only my own successes and failures, but those of others in the Paleo/primal space, it has become clear to me that, while people are fully supportive of what the Paleo lifestyle represents, many are actually struggling to make it work.
When I say struggle, I am talking about people who...
- are unable or unwilling to give up the foods that make them fat or ill
- have seen minimal results over a prolonged period of time or have been unable to sustain the initial results they got
- have more non-Paleo days than Paleo days
- can't stick to any kind of movement program that will allow them to increase the functionality of their body
- feel they must defend their choices to others and are easily crushed when they face even minimal resistance
- are easily influenced by the unhealthy behaviors of the peer group they have surrounded themselves with
- are scared to death of failure so they find any and all ways to avoid it
- consistently make bad choices when the chips are down
- keep waiting for someone to fix them rather than coming to the conclusion they must fix themselves
- think the solution is "out there" rather than "within"
While it is nice that I can list a bunch of areas where people are struggling, it's completely useless if i don't address the bigger question which is...
Why do people struggle?
I believe there are two reasons people are struggling with the whole Paleo movement.
- They seek to change rather than transform.
- They lack a model upon which to understand how effective transformation occurs.
Lets tackle reason #1 first.
Change vs transformation...
We often interchange the terms change and transformation, but in effect they have two completely different meanings.
CHANGE is the function of altering what you are doing--to improve something that you already know is possible within the context of your reality. [Definition taken from The Last Word on Power by Tracy Goss.]
Change involves the idea of doing something you already know how to do, whether it be something you do better, different or in greater or lesser quantity the point is that you are not worried that these changes are beyond the scope of who you are.
Some examples of change include...
- using an online software to start recording the foods that you eat each and every day
- getting a personal trainer to help you with your workouts and your motivation
- buying a cookbook so you can cook better Paleo meals
TRANSFORMATION on the other hand, is a function of altering the way your are being--to create something that is currently not possible in your present reality. [Definition again taken from The Last Word on Power by Tracy Goss.]
In other words, you feel the very thing you are trying to create is impossible; it is completely outside the realm of what you believe is possible in your current reality.
Some examples of transformation might include...
- learning to embrace and enjoy failure
- truly not worrying about what others think
- learning to confront your brutal truths without personal judgement
So how does this connect with the Paleo movement?
The reason so many people struggle is they spend all their time in the area of doing; they spend their time doing things that they know are possible. But overcoming the challenges of how we look requires that we move beyond doing and into being. We must become someone that we currently believe we can't become in order to create extraordinary transformation.
A new model for transformation...
The second reason people struggle is simply because they lack an effective model to understand how true transformation takes place.
To experience incredible success with Paleo, people need to know where it (Paleo) fits in to the bigger picture of transformation and have an understanding of the vital components that are in play.
There are in effect, three.
The First Component: Tools and Strategies (the doing)
This is the component most people who are looking to "change" spend all their time. The DOING portion of the program are the tools and strategies that are used to generate results. These include...
- eating according to the Paleo fundamentals
- exercise (ie. cross-fit, traditional resistance training, speed work, yoga etc)
- emptying out the house of non-paleo approved foods
- hiring a personal trainer
- getting a gym membership
- buying a cookbook
- cooking the right meals
- recording the foods you eat
- saying NO to those things that don't fit into the lifestyle component
The DOING portion of the program is important, but in and of itself it is limited simply because we are working within the realm of what we know is possible.
However the DOING portion alone is deceptive. It provides the illusion of transformation, but in truth it really hides us from the bigger issues that are purcolating below the surface of US. Eventually these issues will expose themselves and when they do they quickly derail any progress which had been achieved.
Thus we enter...
The Second Component: Mindset (the being)
This is a component few think to include, but one that is vital. It is the MINDSET that is required to create extraordinary transformation.
As I mentioned above, understanding why we do what we do is complex. But when you start digging a bit deeper you begin to discover there are reasons why...
- we are easily crushed when we experience resistance to what we are attempting to do
- we can't give up alcohol (in my case, I drank because it allowed me to be someone I was too afraid to be when I was sober)
- we hang out with people who enable our bad behaviors
- we crave junk food when we are stressed
- we spend months and months in "research mode" rather than actually doing something
We can't "DO" our way out of "BEING" problems. Remember BEING issues revolve around things we currently think are an impossibility. Examples of BEING problems include...
- not setting any goals or setting easily achievable ones so you won't have to deal with failure and criticism should you not meet them
- thinking you need a personal trainer to provide you motivation and guidance rather than looking to provide that for yourself
- letting others tell you what you should and should not be doing rather than standing up and BEING the expert on YOU
- playing yourself off as a helpless victim of genetics or disease or some other ailment, disorder or label that excuses you for not creating what you say you really want
- believing that you who your are is fixed in nature and can't be changed
So in order to experience extraordinary transformation we must spend considerable time in both the DOING and BEING components. BUT I believe a another component is crucial and that is...
The Third Component: Community (the belonging)
I personally believe that community is the MOST POWERFUL of the 3 components.
When I talk about community I am NOT referring to simple forums or Facebook groups that people can join online. Those are NOT communities. They function more like a mall where tons of people have the ability to gather and chat, but they fail for the following reasons...
- they are free (the act of paying for something changes the level of commitment people bring)
- there are no expectations or clear objectives set out for members other than to be "supportive"
- it's rife with rationalizations, excuses and victim mentalities
- there is no accountability for results
- it enables rather than empower people
- there are no clear calls to action
- the majority of the questions focus on the DOING aspect (which might promote short-term change, but it won't promote transformation)
What I am talking about is a place...
- that is run like an innovative cutting edge business. I'm talking about a place where there is a focus on accountability and the producing of results.
- that has regular check-points where ALL members are required to provide a status update on their progress based on a community set of guidelines.
- where members invite feedback on how they are being
- where members are taught how to ask a question properly (from a position of strength not one posed from a victim mentality)
- where members are called out if they haven't lived up to their responsibilities (this is crucial to the BEING part of extraordinary transformation).
- where people recognize that information alone rarely creates change. They understand that a new peer group is crucial to helping them think of themselves in a new way by adopting the values of their peers.
- where people are connected so deeply that they are constantly asking others about their strategies and methods so they can clarify and deepen their own understanding.
- where everyone is committed to the transformation of everyone else in the community.
- where action is the only currency
The perfect storm...
First and foremost it is imperative that we recognize the limitations of change and the importance of working towards transformation.
Second, I invite you to embrace a more holistic view of true transformation. Once you do, then you begin to look for opportunities to combine all 3 components. At some point on the journey there comes a moment where all 3 meld together into a personal perfect storm of extraordinary transformation.
To making shift happen,
DD
PS...Have a wonderful holiday season and thanks so much for being a valued member of this community.
38 Responses to How to create extraordinary transformation
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Great post Dean! Timely and well written information – just in time for New Years. Merry Christmas my friend.
Thanks KC. Have a great holiday my friend. I look forward to more exciting innovative POW WOWS in 2012 amigo.
Dean… you are a wise man… not one of the three wise men.. but a wise man just the same. Merry Christmas to you oh wise one..
Hmm I wonder if the 3 wise dudes are looking to recruit a fourth…you like the 3 musketeers did with d’Artagnan. And lets not kid ourselves…I look hot in a filthy robe. Thanks Steph. Looking forward to officially meeting you in March gurl.
Excellent article. Thanks for posting!
Thanks for reading Jeff
I agree with what you have written absolutely. But I feel a sense of hopelessness because I do not have the community part and have no hope of creating it. I am surrounded by people that say Paeleo Sameleo. Cave men died at 20. No support sympathy or understanding. I completed that 21 day Sugar Detox and then this week hit with a dozen people in my house to feed. I will begin anew. I am going to reread this several times.
Stay tuned Judy. I’m going to introduce something that I have been thinking about for some time to address that very concern.
The food isn’t an issue for me. It’s getting to the gym. I’m simply uncomfortable there by myself, but *this* is my hurdle to get over and I plan on clearing it. It’s overused but ‘just do it’ always sits on my shoulder and nags he hell out of me.
Hey Christine, good to hear that you have identified the issue. And you are right…this is a hurdle you need to overcome…will be curious to hear how you begin to attack this problem.
I’m down with the ‘doing’ part. I’m always doing, doing, doing. Doing research, doing Paleo, doing workouts.
In reading this brilliant post, I realize that I have difficulty in detaching the ‘being’ from the ‘doing’ and that creates a bit of craziness in my brain.
I spent some wonderful contemplative moments in the dark on the Solstice that brought me to a place that I seem to shy away from with all the ‘doing’. I’m thinking I need to explore that place a little more.
Just like Judy, I lack the community. I have always been on the fringes with my diet and all my friends and family just think I’m on one of my crazy kicks. I’m used to being the lone wolf. However, I’m getting such good results that people are beginning to take notice.
Super post for Christmas, Dean. Thank you for this wonderful gift and your amazing talents.
Hey Melissa,
yeah we are all down with the doing part…there aren’t many who haven’t been doing something…
There are lots of related examples out there, if it was just a matter of doing then most of us would be in the relationships we wanted, making the money we want in a job we love.
But on a positive note, it is normal to be considered weird doing Paleo…it is still a fringe movement, but as it garners momentum and you continue to get results, you will see more people coming to you as an authority!!
“•think the solution is “out there” rather than “within””
A friend and I once had a funny conversation about times we were “fired” from our jobs. We both admitted the reason we were really fired is that we had “attitude” problems
and that the jobs could have been saved if we could have changed our mindset.
I notice that a day may not go as well for me when I feel tired of my routine (yet have to keep going). If I am perceptive enough to catch myself in my doldrum, I remind myself of all the blessings in my life which does help my mental outlook and I am less likely to fall off the wagon, food or exercise wise. Of course easier said than done:).
Jana banana that is wonderful insight…listen even Tony Robbins has bad days (and bad marriages…he is on his second) Knowing doesn’t mean we get it right all the time…but as you stated the distance we fall is significantly less as our awareness of US grows.
Thank you. Thank you for summing up so simply what I have struggled with understanding – the big picture. What it is I am really hoping to accomplish. Transformation. My goals never went passed “doing”. I have been selling myself short.
Hey Samantha, your welcome. Of course the hard work is still ahead…but a big picture helps us (me/you) understand why we may not be making the progress we would have hoped. It takes courage to being looking at the being aspect of who we are.
Thanks for this post. I am not making progress because I slip up in my eating habits yet I am cooking paleo meals. So, I have to get myself ready to transform!
Hey Nalani…keep digging into this topic…I have found that my initial assumptions of why I get derailed were usually wrong…it takes a lot of work to figure out why we are the way we are and figuring out what to do about it.
Wow, what a great post! Thank you for sharing your knowledge so freely (and for developing strong writing skills before embarking on doing it in public…if only most other bloggers would do the same). This is, indeed, very timely as so many of us are getting ready to make changes for the new year. It’s deep, I will have to read it several, perhaps many times. Looking forward to it.
Every once in a while I wade into the deep end of the pool! Thanks for pumping my tires
lol, anytime!
You should check out the book “Change or Die” by Alan Deutschman, if you have not done so already. It’s very similar to this and your other reframing state of mind posts. The book tries to answer the question of what motivates people to change (or lack of change more often) and how to reframe the situation to increase success.
Hey Ryan…I’m a big fan of that book and many others that talk about the realities of change…switch, influencers, join the club, anything by John Kotter…my goal with this article was to try and take the concepts and put them into a tangible framework for me…and hopefully for others as well. It’s tough to transform when we don’t really understand what’s involved.
Thanks for the insightful article Dean. Your distinction between doing/being was definitely eye opening. I’m gearing up for a big 2012 life transformation and Paleo is at the forefront. Hopefully you’ll be creating this elusive community you speak of
Merry merry and Happy New Year!
Hey Robyn, to be honest that clarification started with my own journey…for most of my life I was in the doing phase but it has only been since I switched to the being phase that things have begun to take off and more importantly remain sustainable long term.
The group is going to launched shortly…I’m excited about it in fact. It’s the one thing that is truly lacking in this space…BUT one that is done very differently than how most approach it.
Stay tuned gurl and happy holiday’s to you as well.
Great post- I love your forthright, yet loving style- I see it in all your articles and responses. Thank you for your commitment to health and helping others to make SHIfT happen. You are having a helpful and deep impact on my transformation! Sending Love and best of all things for the New Year! -Dawn
Wow Dawn! That was very kind of you to say! Do I have to pay for that comment
?? I look forward to having you along for the “Living life boldly 2012 Tour”.
Love Love the article! Very thought provoking!! Thank you! I can’t wait to see what you have planned for the “community”! I think it would absolutely help to have a group of like-minded people for support. (although it’s kinda fun to have people always asking about the paleo/primal lifestyle – even if they just look at you like you’ve grown 3 heads!
)
Well you know what they say Vicki…three heads are better than one…or is that 2?
Thanks for dropping by gurl and hopefully you are on the email list…new community updates going out shortly!!!
I wonder whether you are Dean Dwyer or really the Dali Llama sitting behind a computer screen coming up with these profound,insightful articles. Anyway this article is so true with me. I’m always in the doing mode, looking up info, and research, and planning on going primal/paleo,but I never act on it.
So, I happy you reminded us of being and community part. And I agree with you the have a community like the one you mentioned, could help people immensely. I wonder are you going to that, because if so, I would sigh up for that.
ha ha Steph…somewhere the Dali Llama just got wind of that and threw up (because he was compared to me lol!)
yeah I got a little carried away with this one…been thinking about it for a while and finally figured out how to write it.
I’m working on the finishing touches of my community idea as I write this so i will certainly share it soon!! Thanks for the kind words btw. I think I will make a t-shirt I am the Deani Llama.
Hey, I think the Dali Llama would be proud that you are taking the time to reflect on your thoughts and kind enough to share those thoughts with the world. Imagine if philosophers like Confucius or Plato had kept their thoughts to themselves? Would the world be the same? Or imagine if Mark Sisson or Robb Wolf had kept their concepts of Primal or Paleo locked away in their closets somewhere?
Bottom line is profound, insightful,and positive messages like your articles do a world of good, because your changing, attempting to change, or challenging people to question their mindsets in a good way so they can become a better human being
P.S. Today was your lucky day, because I’m never think this deep on a Tuesday afternoon or ever. But your article got me to think and now I can’t stop.
Dean, I trust the holidays are treating you well. If not, I’m sure you will convince them that they should.
Before I comment on the post I want to express the appreciation I have for Being Primal. In less than a year you have quickly become one of my primary resources and source of inspiration on the primal\paleo lifestyle.
After rereading the post a few times I come to realize that, even though you depict the three components as a little circle of life, for me there is a succession on how I came to where I am now.
1. Doing – I have been “doing something” for as long as I can remember. I followed the late great Jack Lalanne as a kid (no old jokes), was fortunate enough to grow up in a time when a stick, a rock and the outside were great play things. I had gym memberships, ate wheat germ, you name it. The importance of doing is hopefuly you find your place and what works for you. Find your formula.
2. Being – I pretty sure I finally found my basic formula with the Primal lifestyle. The exciting part now is how to optimize it.
I had a bit of a break through last week and it’s interesting you mentioned alcohol use in the Being section. I find that since being primal, alcohol had an increasing negative affect on me. I’m assuming it has to do with a grain and sugar free diet. Needless to say, I finally made a concious and seemingly comfortable decision that I really don’t need to drink any more. Something, from a social standpoint, I have stuggled with.
Does that revelation qualify as a component of being?
3. Belonging – I seriously lack community. My wife is supportive but not practicing. I’ve looked at Meetup and Facebook and I can’t find anything local. I know I should start one myself but I am in denial about my abilities and knowledge to lead such a thing. A personal growth point to work on.
So in short: First, I had to “Do” a lot of different things before I found out where I wanted to “Be”. Now my job is to close that loop and find or create a local physical place to “Belong” to.
To Dean and all you fellow “Beings” (I just made that up)out there, have a safe and happy holiday.
StevieB
Ah Steve-o-rama,
Always the poet my friend…elegantly worded as always…thanks for the kind words amigo.
With regards to the alcohol question…for me it was a being thing..simply because having more than 1 or 2 drinks (ie 7 or
was because it allowed me to be someone I thought I couldn’t be sober. I have discovered I can be a jackass 
when I am sober as well.
Love this line my friend…
“I had to “Do” a lot of different things before I found out where I wanted to “Be”. Now my job is to close that loop and find or create a local physical place to “Belong” to.”
I can’t wait to see what you have in mind for the community. Hopefully it will extend into Central New Jersey.
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Looking forward to some help with forward momentum!