Perhaps you recognize this person.
He or she is desperate to get their health in order. They feel awful, they look awful and their self-esteem is taking a beating.
So they do what all desperate people do. They invest in something extreme. You know something that is going to take care of the problem in the next 14, 30, or 60 days.
It might be one of those extended cleanses, some extreme detox protocol or an exercise program that a steroid induced Lance Armstrong type would have difficulty completing.
The excitement is unbearable. This is IT. This is the thing that is finally going to make the difference.
This is the piece of the puzzle that you have long been missing that is finally going to help you get the results you have desperately wanted all these years.
You are riding a massive wave of inspiration. It is going to be an amazing experience. It has to be right? I mean the testimonials clearly indicate this program works. People are getting results.
And you are "people," so it has got to work for you too.
But then something weird begins to happen around day two. Things are a lot harder than you expected. You still have cravings and those workouts are killing you.
And everything you see looks tempting. The family pet even feels a little nervous when it catches you eyeing her in a rather peculiar fashion.
So you decide to have a little something to ease the cravings. No biggie. You will get back on track tomorrow.
But then tomorrow rolls around and you feel like crap. That voice of resistance is screaming at you. You know what I am talking about here.
It’s that voice in your head that reminds you that you don’t have the discipline to do this stuff.
It’s the voice in your head that tells you that your body is meant to be heavy. You have big bones and heck, the family tree is littered with people who look like they were featured in Supersize me.
The voice wears on you. It sucks the life out of you. And finally it crushes you.
And before you know it, you are elbows deep in some Chunky Monkey or Cheese Doodles.
No sooner had you started what seemed like a sure thing and you have suddenly not only fallen off the wagon, but the dang thing has backed over you 5 or 6 times to boot. Ouch!
And that familiar feeling returns once again where you feel like a big fat failure.
It is another sign from above that you don’t have the desire, the commitment or the willpower to do what needs to be done to turn your body around.
Does that story sound familiar?
It should.
It’s pretty much exactly what happens to any of us who struggle with our weight and try something new only to fail once again when it seems everyone else is having success.
To that I have only one thing to say.
You my friend have fallen victim to a scam. You have been duped by something I call the willpower conspiracy.
So what is the willpower conspiracy?
Well it is this universally accepted notion about the rules that govern willpower.
Unfortunately all these assumptions are wrong. Lets look at three of the biggest culprits.
Assumption #1: When something isn’t working try harder
We live in a culture that thrives on painting all achievements as a matter of hard work.
And of course when you are not getting results, then you are simply told to try harder.
Teachers love this line. If your kid isn’t getting something, well they need to “try harder.”
Two things I will say about trying harder.
First, what in the name of the sweet baby Jesus does that even mean? That’s like asking someone how much they love you. How do you quantify that?
You can’t, which is why it’s a really dumb thing for people to be saying.
Second, try harder is a term used by people who don’t really understand either their own success or what goes into success in general.
It’s one of those phrases that makes people appear smarter than they actually are.
Assumption #2: Willpower is a character trait
Nowhere in our DNA will you find any willpower chromosomes.
And do you know why that is? Because it’s not a trait, it’s a skill.
It is no different than learning to parent, manage your time, or learn a new computer program.
But somewhere in our evolution, people have been lead to believe it’s an innate gift. You either have it or you don’t.
And sadly most people feel it is a trait they just don’t have.
But rejoice because it can be learned.
There is only one small problem. When is the last time you saw someone offering a course on how to learn the skill of willpower?
There are NONE. I am going to change that however so stay tuned.
Assumption #3: In difficult times you have to HAVE willpower
When you start showing cracks in your willpower foundation people will come out of the woodwork to remind you that if you want to succeed, then you have to HAVE willpower.
There are a lot of things we can have; a bad hair day (I have more than I care to admit), a cold, a lot of money. But you can’t simply have willpower.
You BUILD it over time like you build computer-programming skills, writing skills and public speaking skills.
Mastering the art of willpower…
So can you learn how to build incredible willpower?
ABSOLUTELY.
What I am going to do over the next week is to offer some free video training on some of the crucial elements of building willpower.
It’s going to be coming out in a series called…
THE WILLPOWER BLUEPRINT
How to do what you must when it matters most
The first video will come out on Monday. Stay tuned. You are going to find it very helpful.
In the meantime I would curious to hear your experiences with willpower and some of the situations that seem to get the better of you.
To making shift happen,
Deano





Thanks for the post and thanks for reminding me about the fact that willpower is more than what we nowadays think it is. I come from a world that tried to criticize me at every step I made telling me I did not have enough willpower neither to do great in school, nor in my personal life. For some reason I found that constantly annoying, and therefore have been working really hard the last 10 years on this specific thing. I mention such a long number of years not to scare anyone, but because for me it has been a topic worth slowly refining to perfection. To be honest I now have a life that most people around me envy me for, even the ones that don’t actually have the same goals as me. All because I never quit on myself when I lacked willpower and gave up on certain things. Every day I just invested in my self again, until the moment when it seemed like there was hardly and giving up being done on important things.
So thank you, Deano for making this after so long a conscious process!
I love your point about investing in yourself Roxanna. In the second video I will be releasing later next week I am going to talk about that within a concept called double loop learning. Most of us think in a single loop format.
Dean, I love you, but did you HAVE to put chocolate chip cookies on the post? Dammit! Bye bye immaturely-formed willpower!
ha ha! Since those are my Kryptonite I might as well. Almost makes you want to like the computer screen doesn’t it?
Dean,
Love that you are focusing on this. I think it’s in your podcast that I’ve heard you talk about this before and how meaningless it is. I’ve been listening to another series of podcasts over the past few days, and while they have contained some useful ideas most of the time I find myself thinking of your comments on willpower, in that it was full of motherhood statements rather than actionable ideas.
Anyway, to answer your question, I think Oscar Wilde said it best “I can resist anything but temptation”, which is to say as long as I make all my own meals and never socialise I can stick to the perfect diet, problem is real life keeps getting in the way.
Ah yes that damn real life. For you and I and everyone else on the planet. The good news is there are ways to navigate real life so that we are not forced to life as hermits for the rest of our life Isabella.
Your comments on willpower are so dead on! I have been at my goal weight for a few years but it is TOUGH! Seems tougher to maintain than it was to get here. But if i reflect on any success I have ever had it was after I had built momentum from smaller successes and really analyzed what I was doing that was working. So I was BUILDING willpower. It didn’t fall out of a tree on my head. It took lots of trail and error. I still struggle around some of my old trigger foods, and sometimes I go astray, but less and less now that I have strengthened my willpower. I have mental strategies that really work and after I started listening to your podcasts, I try to plan for any tough situations coming up. it is making a big difference for me. It is still something I need to constantly work at but I am really happy with the progress I’ve made.
Thanks Dean. Keep up the good stuff!
Dean, where are your videos? The links don’t come thru on rss and I can’t find them here.