I'm loving my Facebook Fan page for two reasons...
- First, it provides the best way for me to really interact with those who follow me, my blog and my ideas (it's a different interaction than that which happens when people comment on my various blog posts).
- Second, I learn a ton from those who expand and share what they know to be true.
So I was pleasantly surprised when I posted the question below the other day and got a total of 47 responses. That's a lot of comments.
Of the 47 comments that were posted, there were at least 30 unique challenges that people were experiencing. That's important for two reasons.
- It lets us know we are not the only ones who are experiencing challenges.
- It gives us an opportunity to reach out to others and either offer solutions we may have discovered for a similar challenge or to reach out and inquire how others have dealt with a particular challenge we may be experiencing.
Both of those elements are REALLY important components to the process and why a supportive community is HUGELY important when we are looking to make change (this idea goes for any kind of change in any part of our lives).
Top 9 challenges...
Not only were there 47 comments, but people took the time to read the comments of others and LIKE the ones that resonated with them. I chose the top 9 challenges based on those that had the most number of likes. Each is listed below in descending order (9 through to 1). I have also included a Facebook link to the author who contributed the idea. If you get a chance, stop by and say hi and thank them for contributing to this post.
For each challenge, I have also included some suggestions on how to handle the potential situation in the future. Keep in mind these are suggestions and can be "stolen" and applied as is or tweaked to suit your situation and personality. These can also be trashed completely if you think I am talking out of my ass, which is always a distinct possibility. 
#9-Negativity and judgement of others when they learn what you are doing.
[Contributed by: Jacqui More]
Unfortunately, this is going to happen no matter how hard you try to avoid it. It's human nature. People judge so don't be surprised when they judge you in this instance.
But there are a few things you can do to protect yourself from this.
-
Go into stealth mode
I stated this in another blog post, but when you first start I strongly recommend you ZIP IT! Seriously don't say anything to anyone. You will eliminate about 90% of the negativity you have to deal with if you just keep it to yourself.
-
Avoid labeling your lifestyle in the early going
The moment you label something you polarize people. They are either strongly in agreement or strongly against it. [There is a third group of course. Those who don't give a rat's ass what you are doing. Those people are not an issue for us so I have not included them in this discussion].
The concept of Paleo is very polarizing because it is based on an evolutionary concept. If it was up to me I would not call it Paleo and I would never make reference to anything about cavemen. When we do so we invite stupid arguments from people who have no clue what they are taking about.
At the beginning (when you are still trying to generate results and build your confidence) avoid using labels. Speak in general terms about watching what you eat (which you are), exercising more efficiently (which you are), and thinking more clearly (which you definitely are).
-
Create an elevator pitch
What you really need in the early going is an elevator pitch that will explain what you are doing WITHOUT inviting an inquisition. It should be something nice and short and no longer than about 20 words.
Here is what Jacqui came up with to fend off the knuckle-draggers...
"Early on I foolishly told people [I was Paleo] and was surprised by the scoffing and negativity. Of course no one was "looking out for me" when I was stuffing myself to 300lbs. Now I just say, "I just cut out processed foods and got back to working out" it's just less hassle."
Here is what I used early on.
"I cut out all the crap and only eat real foods while mixing in high intensity exercise. BHAM!"
OK I don't say bham. That is gangsta Dean talking there. However, I am now at a stage were I will openly tell anyone who asks, that I AM PALEO! But I kept my mouth shut for the first 6 months until I launched Being Primal.
#8-Not judging people who are not Paleo
[contributed by Don Sproles]
I see people make this mistake all the time.
Here are a few things I have to remind myself of. When people are young, NO ONE dreams of being...
- homeless and yet people end up living on the street
- jobless and yet people are unemployed
- in a crappy relationship and yet they abound everywhere
- working at a job they hate and yet a large % of people are not doing work they love
- obese and yet obesity has turned into an epidemic
The truth is people do the best they can based on who they are and what they know.
Our most effective way to influence the non-Paleo herd is to work our butts off to model the behavior and lifestyle we are hoping others will adopt.
Rather than judge, model to gently nudge people towards the Paleo lifestyle.
#7-Eating out
[contributed by David Yingling]
I actually dedicated an entire chapter to this in my book Make Shift Happen (coming to a bookstore near you in early April, 2012), but let me give you the gist of this valuable little mantra that I use when I am going or eating out. I decide in advance.
What does that mean?
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Do your research
Anytime I am going to a restaurant I am unfamiliar with, I Google it and find their online menu (almost all places have their menu online now). I then go through and decide in advance what I am going to order before I even get there. If I am having difficulty finding something based on the online menu, I just simply call the restaurant and explain what I want. I can always get something to my liking.
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Visualize
This will sound weird, but in the early going I was a little nervous about eating out and going to parties etc because I didn't trust myself to make the right decisions. The workaround was to visualize how I would act in advance when things such as breads, desserts etc were presented before me. It is amazing how effective that strategy was. I mean athletes use this all the time. Why shouldn't it be in our toolbox?
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Say the 3 magic words
No it isn't BACK OFF JACKASS! Although those words can certainly be helpful. Rather learn to say NO THANK YOU. Those words will go a long way. And if people persist, hit them with a rolled up newspaper. Oh wait, that might be an outdated dog training trick. Worth a shot though.
#6-Finding something to eat when you are in a rush
I need to be honest on this one. Most of the time, this is simply a case of bad planning. If you think through your day, more often then not you are not going to get caught unprepared. But sadly, life doesn't always cooperate. Here are a few things that can help.
- make bulk meals in advance
Bulk meals are key for two reasons. They give you a healthy option when you are too tired to cook something and when you are in a hurry.
- nuts
I like to have nuts on hand simply because it is easy to pack a few servings for emergencies.
- hard boiled eggs
You can boil up a dozen and have them in the fridge ready to go at a moments notice.
Sadly, I can't get these in Canada, but they were kind enough to send me some samples to try and WOWZERS those things were delicious. I ate two of them so fast I think I might have eaten the wrapper. Check out more about them here and here.
#5-Getting results and yet family members still continue to follow conventional advice
[Contributed by Rhonda Chamberlain]
I have a slightly different take on this. We can either think "THEY" are the problem or "WE" are the problem. I believe it is the latter.
The truth is most people SUCK at influencing the behavior of other people. It is much more complex than most are lead to believe. What we really need to do is learn to think like the Tobacco companies. I am being serious here when I say this. They are THE VERY BEST at influencing behavior.
Think about it. They are able to get millions and millions of people to do something that they KNOW will eventually kill them. And they accomplish this very strategically.
If you are having problems getting people to buy into what you are selling, then you are doing a bad job selling it.
Human behavior is VERY COMPLEX. Simply showing people what you have accomplished or telling them why they should do what you are doing are not going to be very effective.
I'm going to suggest two books to start your journey to become a better at the art of influence.
#4-Not sounding preachy when people inquire about your success
[Contributed by Annie N Jacob LeBeouf and Annie Foote Gebel]
I think there are times to be preachy (I do it here on my blog and when I am invited to speak at events), but I do think the real challenge is to act with dignity and grace when others are curious to know the secret to our success.
I will steal a line from Steven Covey and his book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.
Seek first to understand and then to be understood.
So before I launch into what I am doing, I like to do the following...
- have them tell me what they are currently doing (and why)
- tell me what they are struggling with
- ask what they are looking to hear/learn from me
The key here is to put them front and center. I also preface my talks (those of you who have talked to me on Skype can attest to this) by telling people to take everything I say with a grain of salt and filter it through their own philosophy.
This tends to put people at ease because they realize I am not out to "sell" them anything (or am I???)
#3-Not having support
[Contributed by Nichole Lynch Wherry]
This can be really frustrating. We assume that our family and friends will rally around us when we launch into something this important, but the reality is more often than not this is not the case. Be prepared for this.
Laurie talked about this here.
The truth is, almost all the significant things we have done or will do in our life will encounter tremendous resistance. And Paleo is no different for many of us. Truthfully though, most people are just not up to the challenge; not at this point anyhow. Most will back down when push comes to shove.
But those who don't all exhibit similar characteristics...
- they have drawn their line in the sand; and are ready to do battle for those who cross over it (have you drawn your line?)
- they work only to accept their own decision realizing they have no control over what others choose to accept
- they seek out and build their own support network (I have a few announcements about this next week so stay tuned)
#2-Listening to the constant jokes and jabs about cavemen...
[Contributed by Angela Neale]
Angela does a great job summing up the frustration of many...
"Listening to the constant jokes and jabs about caveman...cavemen didn't have olive oil, cavemen didn't have this or do that...so annoying!Seriously, I'm not trying to be a caveman, it's about eating real foods so drop the cave-talk people. LOL!
I think we give our non-caveman comedians too much power in this area. We must consider the source.
The first thing I do before I even consider whether someone is deserving of a response or not is take a quick look at their physique. Honestly, in about 90% of the cases you are dealing with someone who...
- has what I affectionately term "a marshmallow body"
- has a double chin
- has zero muscle tone
- doesn't workout at all (or does but you can't tell)
Seriously, should we care what they think? They can't manage their own bodies. Tell me why we are now going to buy into their "expertise" on the paleolithic era?
And if it is someone who is in great shape, then I want to know what they are doing to see if there are any ideas I can steal for myself (you can learn a lot from non-paleo fit people).
#1-Explaining yourself...to everyone
[Contributed by Jamie Davis Welch]
There is a great scene in the movie MoneyBall. For those who haven't seen it, let me give you a quick summary.
The movie is based on the true story of Billy Beane (unfortunate last name that is) who is the general manager of the Oakland Athletics (a major league baseball team). Because they were a small market team, they had little money to compete with the big money ball clubs so Beane hired some kid who has a completely different (and cheaper) way of evaluating baseball players and their value to a team. It is completely counter-intuitive to what baseball has been doing for the past 150 years (just as Paleo is counter-intuitive to conventional government approved eating.)
Beane completely buys into the idea and goes about assembling a team based on the new metrics of evaluating player talent. And he meets resistance everywhere he turns. His manager resists. His scouts resist. The sport of baseball resists.
At one point in the movie, Beane (played by Brad Pitt, who does an outstanding job) is sitting in the office with his new hire and the following conversation takes place when things aren't going exactly as planned.
So my advice to you is exactly the same.
DO YOU BELIEVE IN THIS THING [PALEO]?
If so, then it is a problem that you think you need to explain yourself to others. Don't....to anyone!
To making shift happen,
DD
ps...got a comment? Did we miss one? Got a story to share? Perhaps a strategy? Let us know.
53 Responses to Top 9 challenges of being Paleo and what to do about them
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Perfect sum up of the challenges we face… and wonderful advice on how to cope and handle each of them (:
#7 and of course #1 are tough for me. Jamie was 100% spot on with his wording. “…To everyone.”
#7′s solution (eating out) also applies to my biggest challenge which is saying no thank you to the goodies people put together for me… especially when they are even trying to create within my guidelines >.<
Hey Renee!! Well I owe this post to all those who contributed on the facebook fan page. Yes I thought the advice was amazing…that Dean guy seems to know his sh*t (ha ha!). Yes Eating out is a challenge for everyone…but it is a learnable skill…but it really is amazing how deciding in advance helps with this.
That Dean guy definitely does know his shi(f)t (oh, oh, see what I did there?)
I dont’ see it Renee
I love my Facebook page too! So great to get a conversation going.
I would have to say that one of my challenges is trusting this is a process. As I get older, I look on my eating habits on a year on year basis, as in, am I eating healthier this year compared to last? I try not to get hung up on the lapses – sometimes I even allow them and suck up the consequences – and remind myself that this is a change to last a lifetime and it’s okay if the process isn’t linear as long as it is progressing in the bigger picture. You know like…evolution, maybe?
Hey, and I linked to you this week, buddy!
Yo yo AG. Yes totally agree….the further I get into this the more I realize that a year is a better gauge of where I am in this process than going month to month thinking the miracle is going to happen in 30, 60 or 90 days. The real challenge of course is sustainability when the novelty wears off.
And thanks for linking to me gurl!!
Now I’m going to have to watch Moneyball. Good article again Dean, you are doing a great job with the site. Really like the real life success stories with what they have done laid out for everyone to see. Gives people a guideline to follow.
It was a great movie (Aaron Sorkin is a brilliant writer)…that scene was brilliant…I watched it about 5 times. And thanks. I hope to have more success stories up soon…Kevin and I are talking about a few ideas to break down his success even further.
Thanx for the suggestions. I have RA & Lupus so am trying Paleo to regain some of my health back. At 60 years of age it is harder to make changes but I guess I am at about 50% there. My struggles are in the evening when the exhaustion sets in. Very hard not to cave in and look for sweets. Luckily hubby is a strong supporter and is also a major gym rat. Right now my exercise is walking 3 miles a day, 5 days a week. Thanx again for all that you are doing to help motivate and encourage all of us as we go on this journey….
@Diana – Get those sweets out of the house. I know it’s hard to throw food away, so give it away or just suck it up and dump it. Swap them for fruit, especially berries, they make a great sweet treat. Eating clean will make you feel better but I think you need to get closer to 80% compliance to see real results. Having a supportive husband gets you half way there for sure. Obviously anything is good but you can do it! Good luck.
@spayne Appreciate you jumping in but I would throw out this caution…you made several assumptions with your advice that you need to be careful with….we don’t know if Diana has sweets in the house..she never stated this one way or the other…best first to ask before you offer advice (although I agree with your logic on that) Second the compliance thing really depends where someone is coming from…80% is kind of generic without again asking more questions. But again you are right…eating clean the way to go, but again Diana never said she isn’t eating clean…see where I am going here…a few too many assumptions made and advice dished out without really knowing the whole situation.
@dean – You are absolutely correct. I completely ignored challenge #4. While I was trying to helpful and encouraging I did not really give it enough thought.
ha ha! I can offer that advice because that was my biggest error when I started and is still my biggest challenge…shut my trap and ask more questions and simply offer my own experience as opposed to saying do this do that…and it says a lot that you actually had the courage to point out something you ignored…thanks for leading by example!!!
To be honest Diana, nights are a challenge…I find my challenge goes much better when I am well planned…ie I have done my shopping for the week, workouts are done early in the day and I have gotten some solid sleep. Don’t ignore other aspects of your life however…exhaustion happens for reasons other than simply being tired…something is wearing us down. And I disagree with your comment that it is harder to make changes at 60…it’s harder to accept that we can make changes at any age…I am 46 and realized part of my journey was to battle this notion that age is a factor…it is NOT.
Diana, check out http://www.jackkruse.com & his Leptin Reset, takes Paleo/Primal to a new level. Really works to eliminate cravings, esp those night cravings ( where you’ve eaten dinner but find yourself in the kitchen looking for something else, which used to be a HUGE problem for me). Good luck!
Speaking of sweets, has anyone tried “So Delicious Coconut” Ice Cream substitute? I am not big on guar gum but other than that it seems to be pretty clean. Maybe a good cheat meal dessert?
Really really high in sugar…definitely wouldn’t say it is clean…you can find the ingredients here.
http://www.turtlemountain.com/products/product.php?p=purely_decadent_cm_cherry_amaretto#
Any alternative suggestions? I am pretty good at sticking to the lifestyle but every once in a while it would be nice to eat something like this. It is pretty tasty. Thanks.
Actually I didn’t word that well…I do 3 treats per week at the moment and it can be whatever I want…mine can be pretty “dirty”…so that could totally en acceptable treat for you if it fits into your overall plan. Honestly 2012 is my year to work on cleaner treats…maybe making my own (disaster in the kitchen however)….but I would like to move the dirty treats out
There are SO many great easy recipes for paleo, paleo-ish, or primal treats out there in blog land, you shouldn’t have too much trouble finding some cleaner treats, Dean. But my favorites require no recipe at all. Break off a square of very dark chocolate and dip it in sugar free sunbutter; or, same dark chocolate and a spoon of coconut butter or unsweetened coconut flakes topped with a couple of almonds or macadamia nuts.
I love savoy canned coconut cream. no additives. you can mix this with water for a drinkable milk, or use it with some fruit puree and add it to an ice cream maker. it’s great in coffee, tea (coconut chai…yum!), or smoothies. also great for curries and soups.
MY FAVE SWEET THING:
1 cup berries, FROZEN
3/4 coconut milk, unsweetened
2 to 5 TBS Bluebonnet Whey Protein Isolate
! TBS coconut oil
Mix in Cuisinart for a minute or so, until mixture gets beautifully soft, creamy, and light. (Blender will probably work too but I’ve never tried it.)
I love this! As a nutrition educator I try not to push my philosophy onto my clients, peers, friends, family. Keep an open mind…once you think you know it all is when you stop learning. The problem with us Paleo’s is that we really have seen the truth and it is hard to not share our enthusiasm. But everyone needs to follow their own path…we can only be a guide…and then only if they ASK for guidance.
I think the thing I work hard at now Penny is that others may have made decisions where they too have seen their “truth”. Honestly when I was vegetarian (19 years) I thought I was the highly evolved one in the dietary spectrum…was not open to any other way of eating because I thought I had it all figured out and everyone else was wrong. I have learned a lot from that erroneous outlook…and your last line is brilliant…we need to support people and help them follow their own path (even if it isn’t our path we want them to follow). Thanks for sharing gurl!
Your last point is spot on: We don’t have to explain ourselves to anyone! I really think that actions speak louder than words and the more people see the positive changes we make with our bodies and our lives, the more they get intrigued and might want to make changes themselves.
Great read Dean, as always! I would add to your suggested books, Change or Die by Alan Duestchman. One of your past interviewees said it was a life changer for him and so I picked it up. Incredible book!
Yeah I completely forgot that one…I just read that recently in fact…doh!
My biggest problem has been people who seem to actively try to bring you down. It’s like they can’t stand your success. And yes these people are normally the ones who are described in #2.
My favourite quote: Conventional people are roused to fury by departure from convention, largely because they regard such departure as a criticism of themselves. – Bertrand Russell
There are certainly those people out there for sure. I get it with haters to the blog…the moment you put yourself out there a small % of the population decides it is there mission to bring you down.
Thanks so much! I didn’t have a chance to read this when you posted it and I’m so glad I came back to it today. Great suggestions! And it’s wonderful that you’re encouraging the community aspect of paleo/primal living.
Thanks annie. Good thing about my posts…no statute of limitations
Thanks for those challenge points Dean. I know I’ve hit every one of them. I think #5 is the most frustrating for me which goes hand in hand with #4. I have to get those books you recommended.
A somewhat funny story about having to explain yourself:
Disclaimer: I’m no comedian so this may not be funny at all.
I have been in a holiday cookie exchange at work for the past ten years. This is the first year, however, that I have been 99% grain free. The standard is that we gather at someones house have pizza, snacks and exchange the cookies. So I planned ahead and ate beforehand and left some snacks in the car for the ride back. Thank God they had a veggie platter and salad.
Anyway, they were perplexed that I wasn’t hungry or didnt crave any of the pizza. They said: “But it has pepperoni on it. You can eat pepperoni cant you? Do you want me to cook you a hamburger?….”
For the first time I found myself actually explaining the whole carbohydrate\insulin\fat storage thing with a circle of people around me. And you know what they were doing while I was giving my little discertation?
STUFFING THIER FACES WITH PIZZA!!!!!!
Maybe next year I’ll offer to bring some paleo snacks.
Thanks for another great post.
Steve-o-rama…well it made me laugh out loud thinking of those people holding limp pizza slices as they listen to you. Well planned event my friend!!
I so wish I would have read this 7 months ago when we first started Paleo!! While everyone else around me is curious about why I’m doing Paleo and how it works, my husband’s family got a major dose of #8 and #5 in our early stages. He wanted to “cure” them of all their ailments – diabetes, arthritis, headaches, stomach pain after meals – if they would just follow his advice. Ugh!! He truly just wanted to help (his family is very close), but you can imagine they didn’t receive it well. Are those relationships just toast once the damage is done (in the influencing department)?
It’s a fine line with that kind of stuff. It’s no different than people trying to sell religion. People don’t want something pushed on them that they don’t think they need.
Are they toast Patti? Impossible for me to say, but I personally believe any relationship worth saving can be saved.
Great post Dean!! Lessons for everyone to live by
Tim
Thanks my friend!!!
What a great post and also wonderful comments, everyone worth reading!
I do need to watch #4, I am learning to not sound preachy or have a “you should” slant when people notice that I look better, (it’s not that I have lost much weight, I think it’s a general energy shift that they are noticing), there is a tendency to be preachy however now I have become aware of it I expect it will lessen.
I changed how I eat towards the end of last Oct and I did expect that #6 would be a serious issue for me as I used to get so cranky so quickly if I couldn’t find what I considered to be good food to eat.
I am delighted to find that I am not having problems with finding food, even if I have not planned my trip or prepared some food to bring with me. In Ireland most gas stations and corner shops sell tinned fish and I keep a wee spoon in my bag so now I snack on mackerel or sardines and maybe have some almonds for dessert.
Your advise on #7 is very good, I will bear that in mind the next time I eat out somewhere new.
If someone had told me 4 months ago that I could eat as I do now and not be frustrated or cranky or hungry I don’t think that I would have believed them so I guess there is no reason why they would believe me – seeing is believing
[...] The shift list Top 9 challenges of being Paleo and what to do about them [...]
My biggest achievement today was declining the free pizza at work and it not being a huge big deal. Sure, it smelled good but my home made turkey and vegetable soup did too. Still struggling with the potato chips though. Those are my absolute downfall.
Later in the day, I didn’t feel sleepy or bloated. I’d completely forgotten about the feeling of pizza-temptation. Colleagues expressed sympathy for this terribly depriving ‘diet’ that I’m enduring. Really, it’s not that big of a deal.
You want junk? sure, you can have it but you have to tolerate the baggage it brings with it. I’ve had enough bloating, burping, farting and fatigue to last a lifetime. I want my food to fill me, nourish body and soul, and make me feel good.
[...] Dwyer has some great advice on coping with the transition to paleo http://www.beingprimal.com/top-9-challenges-of-being-paleo-and-what-to-do-about-them and I think his suggestions can be applied to achieving many objectives, not just adopting a paleo [...]
[...] http://www.beingprimal.com/top-9-challenges-of-being-paleo-and-what-to-do-about-them [...]
[...] Dwyer has some great advice on coping with the transition to paleo and I think his strategies can be applied to achieving many objectives, not just adopting a paleo [...]
I think the problem with the “belief” issue is that this isn’t a belief system, its based on reason, logic and science. At the very worst its based on fairly large anecdotal advise, but we still investigate why it works.
I had my first real backlash tonight. And it was from my girlfriend. I was being preachy i can admit. We were talking on Facebook about low carb diets and paleo and insulin, etc. She is a veterinary student who knows much more about nutrition and how our body breaks down fats, and sugars, and protein than i do. All that jazz. Well, because i can be bitter when i am questioned on this subject, i posted primal toads article EAT MORE BUTTER. The following conversation on in the comments took place. (Paula Dean was thrown out. I said it was because of the sugar she ate from breads, cakes, etc. She said “we will go through the absolute digestion of butter/fat and ALL systems involved. don’t close your mind to the fact that glucagon and insulin are only released d/t blood glucose levels. research CCK and what is secreted in response to and what secretions it triggers, it will put you on my level for the argument.
”How do you deal with someone who is so close to you but completely throws all your beliefs as hoax, bullshit, whatever you want to call it?
Hey David, that’s a great question to be asking. It depends on a number of factors…the first being how far down the road you are with Paleo. I think the biggest mistake people make at the beginning is they preach having not gotten any results…not saying that is you…but my advice to people at the beginning is to get results first…NO ONE is going to listen to us until we can at least show we can make it work….then you work on those closest to you…but that is a big THEN
Hello – I’ve got a question for you. I decided to switch my family (4 young kids, my husband, and myself) to a paleo/primal lifestyle last year. We’re 8 months in and love life – the changes we have seen are unbelievable. There is no turning back. But we face some unique challenges. Luckily, my husband, who has seen the most dramatic, life-changing results, is super supportive. But I can’t seem to find a whole lot of support out there for families with elementary aged children. For example, I’ve faced all sorts of scrutiny from teachers, room parents – heck even the school nurse – when I indicated my family does not eat grains/gluten. I was told since it is not a doctor diagnosed allergy, it can’t go in their file. So I appealed to the teacher to let me know when “treats” were coming into my children’s classrooms. They never let me know. I’m proactive for holiday parties and such, but there is always a birthday or pizza party or whatever that is not on the calendar. Then I’ve got my 5, 7, & 11 year old left to make the decision whether to eat the cupcake in front of them or not. I’m a lucky lady – most of the time they don’t. But then they face peer scrutiny and have been told everything from “You’re mom is stupid because she won’t let you get school lunch,” to “Only idiots don’t eat bread.” If you bring in paperwork that says my kid has XYZ allergy, they practically bring your kid into the lunch room on a stretcher. But mention that you don’t eat certain foods for health reasons and the eyes can’t roll fast enough…not can the under-the-breath comments.
Similarly, I’ve convinced my sister to go paleo/primal. She’s 6 months in and loves it. But her husband is one of the biggest obstacles she faces. He thinks it’s all bunk regardless of what evidence/studies she shows him. She doesn’t really care what he chooses to do…the problem is their toddler daughter. She wants to raise her primal. He – and his southern grit luvin’ family – berates her as being looney and even hints she’s a poor mother for depriving her daughter of bread and “puffs” and pasta, etc.
So my questions are:
1. Any advice for parents of primal school-aged children who are ABSOLUTELY THRIVING on the diet, but face scrutiny/challenges for not having an actual food allergy?
2. Any advice for a mom trying to raise her child with optimal nutrition when she’s got critical in-laws/husband?
3. Do you know of a list of witty comebacks for the primal-haters? Sometimes I get thrown off my tracks with the reactions. Some preparation would help!
Thanks in advance for your thoughts!
Hey Kim,
I just added a video and info graphic in one of my tabs. Pointing people to it might help take the pressure off you explaining it…the truth is many simply want to show off how smart they are and are not really asking because they want to know.
Another experiment to try…instead of using the word paleo, tell people you switched to a real/whole food diet and took out foods that you have a sensitivity to…sometimes we get bogged down with labels.
The link is http://www.beingprimal.com/what-is-paleo
My husband decided to join me on Paleo, now he and our kids are close but not 100%, we have challenges with nut (including coconut), egg, & seafood allergies! Plus and aversion to unconventional meats and most non salad veggies! Advanced prep is a must! People get excited about what we are doing because our whole family is lean and muscular but when they find out, they excitement wains and they are skeptical. Especially a friend that is an RD. She is concerned about calcium, especially with the limited choices w/allergies & such. It’s tough to argue against an RD so I listen with interest and am mindful of her concerns. I know micronutrients are important. To the person who is asking about moms feeding their kids Paleo, I am doing that and they have become incredibly healthy as a result. I’m finding it’s better to not draw attention to it unless people ask and then down play what is missing from the diet. My kids are not 100% but close. Luckily they don’t have all the allergies my husband has. One of my sons just won the regional high school title for wrestling. Lots of people come up and ask what the heck I feed him because he is incredibly strong, muscular, & ripped. My son gives Paleo the credit! My youngest son has had a lot of challenged in school but this year the staff says he is like a different kid (in a great way). Interesting!
It’s funny that people project concerns without asking if it is a problem? That said, calcium is a valid question…your job is to get blood work done so you know what where your biomarkers are at…then when you get those questions you can say THINGS ARE GREAT BABY!
While my kids are older (teens) I find I struggle alot with the same issues Kim is struggling with. It has been hard enough to find your own willpower to stay on track, but when other people who are close to you are constantly trying to derail you, accusing you of somehow depriving your kids by not giving them crap, it is just exhausting to have to be so vigilant and on the defence. And surprising. I knew I was my own worst enemy and would easily give into temptation, but to have people constantly taunting you just sucks (oh, its one cookie, c’mon, we’ve all had tonnes, you can eat just one cookie). And bringing the crap into your house because its “for the kids”. Honestly, it hurts when people keep doing this stuff. I’m tired of explaining myself. It’s frustrating living in a carb-centric world!
Love this post – great list. After being paleo for about a year, I’m still mostly “in the closet” about it except with a few very close family members and friends. I just can’t take the judgement and the “all that fat and meat is going to kill you” comments as the people around me stuff themselves with sugar and processed crap and “healthy whole grains.”
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